Are you feeling overwhelmed and under so much stress taking care of your child or your students who have autism?
I understand how you feel because I experienced that, too. What helped me reduce my stress significantly on a daily basis was learning to prioritize myself first before I took care of other people's needs.
Maybe you will say, "What are you talking about, Dolly? I'm so busy, and my child or job requires so much from me that I don't have time for myself." I get you. I felt that way before, too. I've been teaching children with disabilities for more than a decade now, and the majority of those years I spent with autistic children or children with autism characteristics.
During the first few months of teaching children with autism, I felt overwhelmed and under so much stress. I didn't know what to do with my students' behavior challenges, and I didn't know how to reach them, which made me feel frustrated, incompetent, and a failure. My worries about what others will say about my inability to handle my students and classroom management gave me sleepless nights. However, no matter how much energy I exerted, my efforts were in vain without the right strategies.
I tried harder and forgot to take care of myself. Then, one day, I woke up feeling unhappy. My mind and my body were exhausted, and I just couldn't help it, but I just wanted to cry and cry. I started to blame everybody for my situation. Then, one night, I decided to pray and meditate. I realized that I hadn't done it for a while because I was too focused on my worries and what to do with my students.
In my prayer, I told God my frustrations and asked for help. Then, a quiet voice came to me that said, "You need sleep. You're tired. Go sleep." I went to bed and slept. When I woke up the following day, ideas came in on what I needed to do to better help my students, including a person to reach out to.
Sleep… You're tired. These were three simple words that told me I needed to take care of myself. I was so stressed out that I couldn't think clearly and lost the energy to give to my students. From this experience, I have made self-love and self-care habits a necessity. They are a MUST for me to thrive in my multiple roles as a teacher, a wife, a coach, and so on.
You can get my free resource, The Quick Reference Guide for Supporting Children with Autism (For Autism Caregivers and Teachers), here.
Being a caregiver or teacher is a role that demands immense dedication, patience, and resilience. It involves navigating daily challenges, celebrating small victories, and providing unwavering support. While the focus often remains on the needs of the individuals with autism, students, or your family, it is equally crucial for caregivers and teachers to prioritize your own well-being.
Self-love is not a luxury; sustaining the energy and compassion required in this demanding role is necessary. Here's why self-love is essential for autism caregivers and teachers and how it can be nurtured.
The Emotional Toll of Caregiving and Teaching
Caring for and educating individuals with autism can be deeply rewarding. Still, it also comes with significant emotional and physical demands. Constantly vigilance, emotional ups and downs, and the need to advocate for your students or loved ones can lead to burnout if self-care is neglected.
Why Self-Love is Crucial
1. Sustains Energy and Resilience
Practicing self-love is not just about pampering yourself; it's about maintaining your energy levels and resilience. When you take time to recharge your Love Battery, you are better equipped to handle the daily challenges that come with caregiving and teaching. This means setting boundaries, taking breaks, and ensuring adequate rest. It's a proactive approach that puts you in control of your well-being.
2. Prevents Burnout
Burnout is a real risk in this field. Symptoms include emotional and physical exhaustion, migraine and body pain, reduced performance, depression, meaninglessness, and a sense of detachment. By engaging in self-love practices, you can mitigate these risks and continue to provide high-quality care and education. Self-love acts as a shield, protecting you from the harmful effects of burnout.
3. Improves Emotional Well-being
Self-love nurtures mental and emotional health. It involves affirming yourself when things don't go the way you want them to, recognizing your worth, being kind to yourself, and addressing your own needs. This emotional balance is essential for staying positive and practical in your role. When you feel calm and at peace within, it is easier for you to handle the challenges of the autistic children under your care.
4. Enhances Patience and Compassion
When you're kind to yourself, it becomes easier to extend that kindness to others. Self-love fosters patience and compassion, which are crucial qualities for anyone working with individuals with autism. It helps you respond with empathy rather than frustration.
5. Models Healthy Behavior
Demonstrating self-love sets a positive example for children. It shows them the importance of self-care and emotional health, which are valuable life skills you can teach them.
Strategies to Cultivate Self-Love
Set Realistic Goals
I often tell myself this mantra: "Prevent unnecessary stress." It means foreseeing things that may cause me stress that I shouldn't. One of these is not to overwhelm myself with unrealistic expectations. I encourage you to do the same. One way of avoiding unnecessary stress and frustrations is to set achievable goals and celebrate your progress, no matter how small.
Take Breaks
Regular breaks are essential. Whether it's a short walk, a quiet moment with a book, or a quick meditation session, pausing can rejuvenate your mind and body. There's one quick break that I incorporate in between activities and transitions, and that is deep breathing. I give myself one minute of deep breathing and another minute of just paying attention to and following my breath. It relaxes me and gives me a sense of inner calm.
Seek Support
Don't hesitate to ask for help. Connect with other caregivers or teachers who understand your challenges. Support groups, either in-person or online, can provide a sense of community and shared understanding.
Follow our Facebook Page, Autism Wellness Sanctuary, for additional resources and support on your journey. You can also join our Facebook group for Autism Caregivers and Teachers.
Do something that you love doing.
Make time for activities that bring you joy and relaxation. I enjoy dancing, so I incorporate dancing into my daily activities, such as washing dishes, cleaning the house, doing laundry, or when I'm in the classroom, I dance with my students.
Hobbies can also be a great way to unwind and disconnect from daily stresses. Doing something you love often makes you happy.
A happy teacher makes happy students, and the same goes for caregivers.
Practice Mindfulness and Meditation
Mindfulness and meditation can help you stay grounded and present. This is one of my potent tools for battling stress and being overwhelmed. These practices reduce stress and promote emotional stability. Please click this link and access our free Self-Love Meditation Exercise
Exercise Regularly
Physical activity is a powerful tool for managing stress and maintaining overall health. When you exercise, your body releases feel-good hormones, elevating your mood. It will also energize you. Please don't fall into the myth that exercise is only for those who want to lose weight and stay fit physically. Exercise can make you emotionally and mentally fit. Find an exercise routine that you enjoy and can stick with.
Maintain a Healthy Diet
Proper nutrition fuels your body and mind. Ensure you eat balanced meals that support your energy levels and overall health. Eat whole food and organically raised products. Sometimes, it is hard to change your eating habits. When your diet consists of highly processed and sugar-loaded food, you can add healthy, nutritious food. Perhaps, adding a salad or fruits.
When you continue adding nutritious food to your diet, it will eventually replace your unhealthy eating habits. Maintaining a healthy diet is also beneficial for yourchildren, especially for children with autism.
Get Enough Sleep
Quality sleep is non-negotiable. Prioritize a regular sleep schedule to ensure you're well-rested. Create a bedtime routine for yourself and for your children, especially for your child with autism.
Spend time to Pray
Prayer is talking to a Higher Being, your God. We call God by different names. As a Christian, I call my God Jesus Christ. The most important thing is you constantly connect with your God within. As caregivers and teachers of children with autism, the journey can be challenging. However, knowing that there is SOMEONE higher than you and can help you find those resources that you need, provide you with inner strength, and watch over you and the people you love will give you hope and encouragement to continue and to thrive in your mission and calling- a caregiver and a teacher for autistic children.
If you want to know more about your Love Battery and how to deepen your love for yourself, please get our book Finding Your Lost Self: Your 30-Day Journey to Self-Love here.
Final Thoughts
Self-love is not selfish; it is a foundational aspect of being an effective and compassionate autism caregiver or teacher. By prioritizing your well-being, you can provide better support, sustain your passion for the work, and model healthy behaviors for others.
Embrace self-love as a vital part of your caregiving and teaching journey and watch as it transforms your ability to care for and educate those with autism. Remember, you deserve the same care and compassion that you so generously give to others.
Make self-love a priority, and let it empower you to continue making a difference in the lives of those you support.
As a special gift, I want to give you this free resource where I compile the top 10 strategies to support children with autism. Please click this link to learn more and get your copy. Please visit lovehealbelieve.com and learn how we can you.
How about you? What strategies do you use to thrive as an autism caregiver or teacher? Please share in the comment below. Please share this article with those you think will need this message.
About Dolly
Dolly Tampos Oksman, MA, MAED-SPED, is a Transformational Speaker, Author, Certified Wellness Coach, Special Education Teacher, and Behavior Analyst. She is the Founder and Owner of Love. Heal. Believe. LLC.
Dolly experienced chronic stress that affected her mental and emotional health. However, when she entered the convent to be a missionary nun, she learned the secrets of how to live a fulfilled life with inner peace and joy. Today, she is sharing those secrets with you.
Dolly is on a mission to help you develop a deeper love for yourself and find long-term solutions to stress. Her new book, Finding Your Lost Self, which is also available on AMAZON and her programs & Services will take you on a step-by-step journey to a happier, healthier, and calmer life with less stress. Please contact Dolly HERE.
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