Forgiveness is an essential virtue that a married couple must hold. The act of forgiveness will restore broken relationships.
The other day, I took a ride to work. I started a conversation with the driver by asking him how his day was so far. As we continued talking, our topic went to his marriage.
He happily told me that he and his wife have been married for 47 years.
I congratulated him. I asked him what the secret was for being married that long? He said, “My wife.”
That was striking for me. So I asked him why. He said, "My wife patiently waited for me to grow up." They got married young. So, he lived a life like a single person for a while. He recalled all the crazy things he did for his wife.
I complimented his wife's remarkable patience. So, I asked him about his wife's secret in enduring his behavior. He said, "God. My wife loves God." Then he went on telling me how wonderful his wife is.
I asked him if it was worth it for his wife to wait for him that long. He said, "I believe, yes." He learned so much from his experience and became a better husband to his wife.
Though the driver did not say it in his words, I believe that since his wife loves God, she was able to forgive her husband.
Why would I know that? Because asking for forgiveness and giving forgiveness is a command that believers of God are asked to do.
Forgiveness is an essential virtue that a married couple must hold. The act of forgiveness will restore broken relationships.
When Peter asked Jesus how many times they should forgive, Jesus replied seventy-seven times (Matthew 18:21, 22). It means unceasingly giving your forgiveness.
In marriage, you live with a spouse and children like you, who have limitations and weaknesses. Yet, they are perfect in their imperfect ways. Therefore, they, from time to time, may hurt your feelings as you from time to time may hurt their feelings.
We need to open our hearts and be ready to ask for forgiveness and to give our forgiveness.
Forgiveness is a powerful healer.
The angst that one carries creates physical and psychological challenges that will manifest in the body. So, many people experiencing chronic illnesses and chronic stress feel better when they forgive.
Sometimes you wonder why a person did not get the healing they need. But, when you take a closer look at their lives, they hold on to past pain. They are not able to forgive.
When you hold a grudge or other negative feelings inside you, it only hurts you.
When you are angry with your spouse, children, or in-laws and refuse to forgive them, it will block the energy of love, joy, and peace in your life, family, and married life. You become a prisoner of it and thus make you unhappy whether you admit it or not.
Everyone deserves forgiveness, including yourself.
I also understand that forgiving when the pain is so deep is hard. For example, it is hard to forgive infidelity. Likewise, it is hard to forgive when you feel abandoned or disrespected.
But I want you to consider the following points about forgiveness to understand better why you should forgive.
1. Refusing to forgive harms you more than the individual you're upset with.
You're not hurting your spouse, children, or in-laws that you refuse to forgive nearly as much as you're damaging yourself. Think of the ongoing hurt feelings you're holding because you refuse to let them go. Those who hurt you hurt you only once, but holding on to the pain by constantly playing it in your head made you a prisoner of that pain.
2. Forgiving allows you to release the pain. Whenever you decide to forgive someone, you're freeing yourself from holding on to the grudge. You can now move on and live your life in peace.
3. The grudges that You focus on will dominate you. They will take over your entire existence. You may convince yourself that you will not think about them, but you will find that impossible because something will trigger you. The more you think of the pain they cause you, the more you will attract them into your life through people and circumstances that will remind you of your grudge.
4. You can decide to be the "bigger" person. You may think or say why should you ask for forgiveness or why should you forgive? It is their fault, or they will make the same mistake again.
Forgive anyway.
Be the bigger person who humbles himself to give or ask for forgiveness. However, there are cases that you may need to minimize your interaction with them or put some boundaries.
5. Forgiveness bears many fruits. Forgiveness does not only give you peace of mind and inner joy. It could also be an avenue for a person to change their way. For example, the friend you forgive may realize that they made mistakes and will change their ways, like the driver who changed his ways.
You may also enjoy more fabulous moments with those you forgave.
When giving and asking for forgiveness becomes so difficult, ask the grace of God to help you forgive.
Forgiveness cannot change the past, but it does change the future.
Forgiveness creates a new path forward. It forges a new beginning.
Who are the people you need to forgive right now? Please give them your forgiveness.
Giving forgiveness is an expression of self-love. When you love yourself, you will not allow yourself to carry unnecessary baggage, and you don't want to hurt yourself constantly.
But when you need help in loving yourself, which is vital for healthy relationships, JOIN us in our Self-love Initiative Program. Click the link to know more, or visit our website lovehealbelieve.com to learn more about how we can help you.
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