While we often celebrate love for others, we sometimes forget one of the most important things we must do to experience peace and love: love ourselves.
February is the month of love; many desire to find love, to be loved, and to love. Many are expecting love and affection from the outside, from someone special, and some feel depressed, isolated, and not good enough because they don't receive the love that they long for and want so much.
According to the Better Health Survey in 2023, 15 million Americans said that their mental health worsened during Valentine's Day. Are you one of them?
But what if we shifted the focus inward? What if instead of going outside to seek love that sometimes others can't give you, you find it within you? Perhaps you won't feel alone and depressed anymore. The truth is that the love you want is within you because the source of love, God, is in you. However, many don't realize that this powerful source of love cannot freely flow if you don't love yourself.
While we often celebrate love for others, we sometimes forget one of the most important things we must do to experience peace and love: love ourselves.
Do you love yourself? If you're still struggling to love yourself, get our book, Finding Your Lost Self: Your 30-Day Journey to Self-Love. (AMAZON) This book will guide you to strategies to help you create self-love habits.
Why Self-Love Matters
When Jesus' disciples asked him about the greatest commandment, He said to love God above all and love our neighbors as we love ourselves (Matthew 22:36-40).
We are called to love God and to love others.
However, to avoid burnout in loving others, it is important to connect to the Source of Love within you by spending time with yourself, doing the things that you love and that are meaningful to you, and allowing yourself to connect with your Creator, who knows you inside and out.
God wants you to channel God's love to others.
Hence, you have that inner desire to serve and love others meaningfully. However, it is harder for you to channel God's love when you don't love yourself. It is God's will for you that you love yourself. When you nurture yourself with kindness and compassion, you build emotional resilience to help increase your understanding of others, strengthen your mental well-being, create a solid foundation for personal and spiritual growth, live a less stressful life, and experience more inner peace and calm.
Simple Ways to Practice Self-Love & Compassion
Daily Affirmations: Start your morning by affirming your worth. Affirmations are words or thoughts that you tell yourself are true. Increase your self-knowledge, uncover and acknowledge your strengths and giftedness, and affirm yourself about what you already have that is good and amazing. Be grateful for it and say words of appreciation and compassion to yourself. You will wake up one day feeling better about yourself. Say, "I am enough," "I am worthy of love," or "I choose kindness toward myself."
Mindful Breaks: People are unaware that we have a default system called the Default Mode Network (DMN) in our brain that produces different thoughts and has no filter. The DMN also creates stress demons that cause you feelings of anxiety and many unpleasant emotions.
You must learn how to tame these stress demons. Please email me at dollyoksman@lovehealbelieve so I can invite you to my class, where I teach effective and sustainable strategies for taming these stress demons. For now, I encourage you to give yourself moments of stillness, even five minutes a day, to breathe and reconnect with your inner self and God.
Set Boundaries: Protect your energy by saying no to things that drain you and yes to what nourishes your soul. Check your activities and ask yourself what things you're doing right now that you do to please others or to impress. You don't have to do them constantly. Know who you are and honor your boundaries. Repeat after me, "I Don't need to please and impress you. I do things for you because I love you, and they make me happy." When you feel helping others becomes a burden, it is time to set back, detach, reflect, and understand your motives.
Self-Care Rituals: I meet many burnout people because they fail to take care of themselves. Self-care is an expression of self-love. Whether it's a warm bath, journaling, or drinking stress relief tea (AMAZON), prioritize activities that bring you joy.
When you spend time caring for yourself and your needs, you are happier, and those around you will benefit. They will be happy, too, because you are.
(Please know that I get a small commission when you purchase products here from Amazon).
Forgive Yourself: Allow yourself to make mistakes. You are a human being and learning each day. It is ok to screw up sometimes. Release guilt and past mistakes. Be compassionate with yourself. God has forgiven you; why can't you forgive yourself? If you need help with this, please don't hesitate to contact me. I can help you.
To learn more about developing and deepening self-love and compassion, get my book Finding Your Lost Self: Your 30-Day Journey to Self-Love.
Beautiful you, commit to treating yourself with kindness and compassion in this month of love. Because when you love yourself fully, you radiate that love to the world. ❤️
About Dolly
Dolly Tampos Oksman, MA, MAED-SPED, is a Transformational Speaker, Author, Certified Wellness Coach, Special Education Teacher, and Behavior Analyst. She is the Founder and Owner of Love. Heal. Believe. LLC.
Dolly experienced chronic stress that affected her mental and emotional health. However, when she entered the convent to be a missionary nun, she learned the secrets of how to live a fulfilled life with inner peace and joy. Today, she is sharing those secrets with you.
Dolly is on a mission to help you develop a deeper love for yourself and find long-term solutions to stress. Her new book, Finding Your Lost Self, which is also available on AMAZON and her programs & Services will take you on a step-by-step journey to a happier, healthier, and calmer life with less stress.
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