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Writer's picturedollyoksman

What to Do When the People You Love Can't Give You the Love and Care You Desire and Deserve?

People who struggle to love and accept themselves may find it challenging to accept and love others fully.





Do you exert a lot of effort to please others?

Do you feel frustrated when the people you love seem not to care?


Suppose your answer to one or all of these questions is YES! It is time for you to start developing Self-Love and Compassion. Join us in our Nurturing Self: Cultivating Self-Love and Compassion Workshop. This workshop will help you learn how to love yourself, develop self-compassion, and cultivate a more fulfilling life. Please click the link to learn more about this workshop.


Learning to love yourself is one of the most important things you can do for your overall well-being. During my time in the convent as a missionary nun, I received valuable advice from my formator about love and self-acceptance, which has stayed with me ever since. 


She emphasized the importance of loving oneself before expecting others to love us. According to her, forcing someone to love you is impossible. Hence, it's crucial to recognize that seeking happiness, love, and acceptance from others may not always be possible. 


People who struggle to love and accept themselves may find it challenging to accept and love others fully. These words of wisdom have helped me develop a healthier relationship with myself and others. 


When you genuinely love and have compassion for yourself, you don't need to work hard to please others to be loved and accepted. You will also be less frustrated when the people you love struggle to give you the love you desire because you already have that love within you. 


How will you develop a love for yourself? Here are some ways to do it. You can also get our book Finding Your Lost Self: The 30-Day Journey to Self-Love to jumpstart your self-love and compassion habits.


1. Increase your self-awareness. This is the first step towards your self-transformation. Become aware of how you talk to yourself and what you think about yourself. It is hard to love someone you always think negatively. Your ability to catch those degrading thoughts and words and transform them into empowering ones will be your first step to deeper


2. Forgive and Ask for Forgiveness. I know this is hard, but forgiving yourself and those who hurt you will allow you to move on and live more peacefully and joyfully. Mistakes are part of growing up. It is ok if we mess up once in a while or often; take the lessons from your mistakes. 3. When you struggle to forgive, ask for grace from God. God will provide you with the strength that you need. Also, you can take part by investing for yourself.  Join us in our Nurturing Self: Cultivating Self-Love and Compassion Workshop.


4. Know your Strengths and Talents and Stop Comparing Yourself with Others. As a special education resource teacher, I saw my student's frustration when they saw their performance below their peers. Hence, I challenge them not to compare their scores with their peers but their previous scores and celebrate even the small progress. I helped them see their strength and challenged them to develop them. I saw them getting so excited seeing their progress. You can appreciate yourself more when you see your talents and strengths and invest in personal development to strengthen or develop new skills. When you're ready to invest in developing a love for yourself, Enroll in our Self-Love Mastery Course.

5. Purge Your Social Life. Sometimes, you must fire your bosses, co-workers, and friends who are emotional and energy vampires. These are the people who pull you down and suck your energy and joy. Surround yourself with people who encourage and support you. Cultivate close relationships with those who share your goals and help you achieve your next level. Join our Stress-Free Haven Facebook Group and get support from people on the journey to self-love.


6. Set Your Goals and Pursue Your Passion. My husband once told me I have a costly hobby because I consistently enroll in courses and get certificates on something I feel curious about. I embrace it because I am a Learner. What is your passion? What do you envision your life to become? Set your goals and do that thing you always love to do. I love these words from a mentor; he said that you need to have goals in life; otherwise, others will impose their goals on you. Also, you are happier when you pursue your goals.


There are many ways to develop and show love for yourself. If you're ready to deepen your love for yourself and develop self-compassion, but you don't know where to start, get a copy of our book, Finding Your Lost Self: The 30-Day Journey to Self-Love.


If you don't enjoy reading, you can join our Finding Your Lost Self: Your 30-Day Journey to Self-Love Challenge, which is in video format and jumps into the different ways you can develop self-love habits. 


How about you? What are your ways to develop love and compassion for yourself?

Please share in the comment below.


Please remember to share this blog with your friends and contact us when you need help in your journey to self-compassion and self-love.


Beautiful You, May You Always Live in the Power of Love!


 

About Dolly


Dolly Tampos Oksman, MA, MAED-SPED, is a Transformational Speaker, Author, Certified Wellness Coach, Special Education Teacher, and Behavior Analyst. She is the Founder and Owner of Love. Heal. Believe. LLC.


Dolly experienced chronic stress that affected her mental and emotional health. However, when she entered the convent to be a missionary nun, she learned the secrets of how to live a fulfilled life with inner peace and joy. Today, she is sharing those secrets with you.


Dolly is on a mission to help you develop a deeper love for yourself and find long-term solutions to stress. Her new book, Finding Your Lost Self, which is also available on AMAZON and her programs & Services will take you on a step-by-step journey to a happier, healthier, and calmer life with less stress. Please contact Dolly HERE.


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